Cautionary Tale

Today was a frightening day. I knew that it would come eventually, but why so soon? Only at six months? A mother likes to think she can keep her babies little and safe and sheltered forever, but that's not the case.

Nolan got his first bruise. On his forehead. I feel terrible. I tried to protect him, but there was nothing I could do, especially against such a vicious attack from such a depraved individual and his nasty little accomplice.

Dennis Hopper (left) and Beefy the Cow. These two deserve the worst the system has to offer.

That's them, folks, the ones who hurt my baby. None other than Dennis Hopper and Beefy the Cow. Even writing their names and seeing their foul faces fills my mouth with bile and my heart with anger. How did this happen? Let me share our tale of pain and woe so that it might not happen to you and yours!

Nora, Nolan, and I were playing on the floor and I was helping Nolan practice sitting. Dennis Hopper and Beefy the Cow had been loitering, innocently enough, on our blanket. I could see no reason for them to not be there...they had gotten along well with the children in the past.

Suddenly, Nolan's disproportionately heavy head caused him to lose his balance, falling right into Dennis' waiting trap. As poor Nolan's head made audible contact with Dennis' hard face, Beefy just sat and watched, wearing that malicious smirk on his stupid little face.

It was over almost as soon as it began, even though these things seem to happen in slow motion to those involved. After the attack I have to say I was extremely proud of Nolan's reaction. I scooped him up and got him out of reach of the repugnant pair. He hardly cried at all and the only medical attention needed was a few well-placed kisses. Nolan is at home recovering now.

I can't say that Dennis Hopper and his pal Beefy are going to be so lucky, however. This is a warning to everyone out there. If you hurt my child, I will hurt you.

I'm putting you on notice, Dennis. You best watch your back.