Let's Play "Name that Fluid!"

If you are a parent you are all-too-familiar with the various leaking orifices that make up a child. Spit up, saliva, pee, poo, blood, eye gunk, you name it. Babies are disgusting. At first you make a big deal of it, calling your spouse over to see the poor diaper your daughter just destroyed or shrieking "Aaahh! Aaaahh!" when your son pees in his own face. It doesn't take long to grow (pretty much) completely numb to this kind of thing, and you find yourself covered, daily, in bodily fluids of all kinds. No big deal, just part of the package.

Today was something a little bit different, however. I was sitting on the couch finishing up nursing the twins, engrossed in my episode of LOST on Netflix, when suddenly I felt a strange sensation. At first, I couldn't quite place the feeling, even though it felt familiar. I felt warm...and wet. Oh. My. God. Did I just PEE myself?! I couldn't believe it! I didn't even remember feeling the need to pee, let alone feeling it urgently enough to wet myself on the couch!

I hurriedly set the babies down and, in horror, confirmed that my crotch was indeed soaked. Still shocked at how this could have happened, It wasn't until I looked at Nolan, who gave me a huge, gummy smile that I suddenly realized what had happened

While I was disgusted that Nolan ninja-spit up in my lap (even into my underwear. Awful), I couldn't help but smile because I didn't actually pee myself, as I originally feared. I'll take that as a win any day.

Delivering Terror

Corey and I were up feeding the twins late last night when we realized there was a white car in our driveway, running and with its lights on. Obviously we were surprised, since it was 2am, but in our exhausted state we thought that just maybe it was my dad? He has a white car. As I was holding a half-asleep Nora we were discussing just why my dad would be in our driveway at 2am when I saw a man walk by our front window! Moments later, there was a loud knock at the door. I almost dropped the baby.

You want to be wide awake for a late night feeding? Have a Prime Time Pizza guy loudly knock on your door at 2am by mistake. That'll get your heart pumping.

A New Parent Mini-Conversation

Me- "What's that on Nolan's forehead? Is that blood?!"
Corey "I dunno! Is that a bruise or something? What happened to him!?"
Me- "Oh wait...it's just chocolate. He's fine."

Ugh.

It is not even noon and we have gone through 15 diapers so far today...yikes. Babies, you need to decide: college or diapers? I'll be patiently waiting for your response. Thank you.

A New Parent Story

Order of events:

--Kate is jostled awake in the wee hours of the morning

--To her surprise, someone (me) is reaching out for her, attempting to pick her up by cupping the back of her head while at the same time supporting her back.

--"Um, what are you doing," she asks.

--I pause, confused, before replying, "Oh, you're not Nora. I apologize."

--I lie back down. We both quickly return to sleep.

Sadly, this is not a first for us.

Where We're Going We Don't Need Roads

Seven years ago today, a 24 1/2-year old Corey was getting ready for a drinks-and-darts first date at Mulligan's with a certain lucky lady named Kate. I wonder...if 31 1/2-year old Corey could jump in his Delorean (after feeding and changing his 6-week old newborn twins, of course) and go back to that night in February 2005...what would he say?

Surprise!

I know that everyone thinks their children are amazing, attractive, smart, and talented, but mine really are. For example, last night I was changing Nolan and trying to be careful about it (you know how unpredictable little boy babies can be while being changed). As I'm standing next to the changing table, half-asleep, I feel the oddest sensation down around my feet.

Somehow my son just managed to pee IN my socks. Incredible.